This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
