K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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