just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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