In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
