GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
