Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
