nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
