oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
