i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
