I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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