The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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