tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize