im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize