he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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