pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think my moral compass just broke
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