we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
