Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I currently don't understand fingers.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
