I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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