he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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