No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
