Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
