therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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