so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
