Someone shit on the floor
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
