i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
