i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
