im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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