super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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