i think i have two assholes
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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