I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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