The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
