what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
