he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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