check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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