Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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