return my video game
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
