Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
