She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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