I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
