chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
