Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
