I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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