I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
