I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
