I CAN MOONWALK!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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