I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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