You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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