Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
