oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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