my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
