Me too!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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