Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
