I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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