Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize