Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
