hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
