Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
