I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
